Santa was glum and sat on his bum,
His bearded head in his hands.
And even the vet, was so very upset,
At the ruin of all Santa’s plans.
“Your reindeer have flu, there’s nothing to do,”
“Reindeer with flu cannot fly,
“Mr Christmas, I’m sorry, this won’t make you jolly,
“There’s no way they can take to the sky, the sky.
Reindeer with flu, cannot fly.
Santa sprang to his feet, “Then by golly I’ll cheat,
“It’s the night before Christmas tonight.
“I should be off and away, in my jingle-bell sleigh,
“Giving gifts, spreading joy and delight.
“And the reindeer themselves, would be sad and the elves,
“Would sob to think children might cry.
“I don’t know right now, and I don’t know quite how,
“But my reindeer will take to the sky, the sky.
“My reindeer with flu, they’ll still fly.”
Now Santa’s workshop’s the star at the top,
On a Crimbo tree of splenderous size.
It grows from the snow, and it’s too cold to go,
Unless your belly is full of mince pies.
On vastinormous tree branches, whirl frost-fairy dancers,
Punk penguins play drums and guitar.
Snowfolk taxi around, this Christmas tree town,
In motorbikes with comfy side-cars, side cars.
From the trunk, to the tip of the star.
Santa turned to the vet, no longer upset,
A twinkling laugh dimpled his eyes.
“Get me spiced raspberry gobbles and hot-water bottles,
Get me blankets, hoof gloves and gleam pies.”
“That will make them warm, true, but your reindeer have flu,
“And reindeer with flu cannot fly!
“Poor Dancer is sneezing, and Prancer is wheezing.
“Rudolph’s nose looks sore to my eyes, my eyes.
“Santa! Reindeer with flu cannot fly!”
But with a quick wink, Santa hopped to the brink,
And boomed a laugh from the edge of his star.
“When the night’s Christmas Eve, you just have to believe,
“In fast motorbikes and comfy side-cars.
“Now Triumph, now Thudder, Duke, Angel and Buzzer,
“Up Suzy, up Smoky, up Gears and Discover.
With a tap of his nose, nine motorbikes rose,
Roaring hovering high in the sky, the sky,
“Reindeer with flu, they will fly!”
Santa said, “Reindeer with flu they will fly.”
So the reindeer flew even though they had flu,
Nestled hug-warm in cosy side-cars.
And the Snowfolk sat driving, couldn’t stop smiling,
Pulling Santa’s sleigh out cross the stars.
The whole Crimbo tree cheered, as they all disappeared
Through the moon-silver black of the sky.
The vet watched grinning, amazed, “Christmas is saved!
“Because reindeer with flu they can fly, oh my!
“Reindeer with flu, they can fly.”
By S.J. Stevenson.
(A human who helps us out occasionally, but is known to get very cross around spreadsheets)